A Joker's Tale
by emeraldeye14
Summary: Reapers, a sentient race of machines responsible for cleansing the galaxy of all organic life every 50,000 years, are about to return. The leaders of the galaxy are paralysed by indecision. But one soldier has seen the legend come to life and he gave his life to buy the galaxy a little more time, sending his pilot back with a a warning. The fate of the galaxy depends on this pilot.
1. Suicide Mission

**So this is an idea I had when I thought wouldn't it be cool if there was something about what happened in ME3 if Shepard and co all died. I mean, Joker still lives, all the events of ME3 still happen, the Reapers still come, and Joker was ordered to go back and warn them. So then what?**

 **This is my attempt to answer the question. It is well and truly canon divergent, as is obvious by the fact that Shepard isn't around, but I try to keep things in character anyway.**

 **This is just a short prologue introduction to set the scene. Hopefully it's enough to catch your interest :)**

-l-l-l-

"Commander! Come in, Commander! Damn it, where are you…" Joker took his hat off with one hand and ran the other through his hair anxiously. There were explosions everywhere and considering how horrible this whole mission was going so far, he feared the worst. "Commander, do you copy? Commander! Come on, Shepard, don't leave me hanging! Do you copy?"

"I'm here, Joker."

Joker let out a loud sigh, his head resting back against the seat. He never thought hearing that voice would sound so good!

"Did the ground team make it?"

Joker grimaced and, once more, checked the screens of the area outside the ship, but shook his head seeing nothing new. "No sign of them, Shepard. I… guess they didn't make it," he was forced to admit. He couldn't think about what that meant. Not now. At least they got the rest of the crew even if Zaeed had sacrificed himself to get them there. They were in the med bay now. "And… the others with you?" he asked, fearing the worst.

"They're dead."

Joker closed his eyes, wincing as he felt those words like a physical blow. All of them. Every single person who set out was dead. All but Shepard. Opening his eyes again, he focused on the map EDI had up of the Collector base, of the little dot that represented where Shepard was. "Keep going straight down that hall, Commander. I'll be there to pick you up," he said as the Normandy lifted up, knowing they wouldn't be able to get any more people out.

"EDI, take over. He's going to need cover fire," Joker said as he painfully pulled himself out of the chair and grabbed the M-8 Avenger he kept on the side of the seat. He was sure he was hobbling on more than a few broken bones by now - their journey through the Omega 4 relay hadn't exactly been smooth - but damned if he was going to let that stop him from ensuring the Commander got safely back on board again!

Slapping the panel to open the hatch, Joker immediately raised his gun and started shooting at any Collectors he could see, clearing the way for Shepard just as he rounded the corner, running towards them. EDI guided the Normandy down as Joker continued to rain bullets on the pursuing Collectors, putting all that military boot camp training to good use.

"Come on!" Joker shouted as Shepard took a running leap towards the open hatch.

Only to miss, just managing grab on to the floor.

"Commander!" Joker called, and he tossed his gun aside to reach forward and grab Shepard. He grit his teeth - damn the Commander was heavy! - and pulled. He had barely got a grip before he was thrown back again with a cry of pain, a bullet ripping through his left shoulder.

"Joker…" Shepard said, but Joker ignored him. It hurt, damn it hurt, but a lifetime of dealing with pain meant he knew how to shove it aside and get the job done. And this time the job was saving his commander!

Crawling forward once more, Joker reached out with his right hand to continue trying to pull him up.

Shepard, however, was having none of it. "Tell them," he said.

"You tell them," Joker snapped back, flashes of explosions and Shepard floating lifelessly through space flashing before his eyes. "You're not doing this to me again!"

Shepard just shook his head. "You've got to warn them. More are coming!" His hand slips out of Joker's grip, leaving him hanging on to the hatch by one hand. "Joker… go," he said.

He lets go.

-l-l-l-

"Commander!" Jeff shouts, half jerking upright in bed, breathing heavily. He closes his eyes as he feels hot tears well up for the millionth time. "Shepard…" he says softly to himself. It had been like this nearly every night since that fateful mission, unless he could convince Chakwas to give him the good stuff before bed. They had destroyed the Collector's base, obtained intel to warn the Alliance and the Council of the coming threat and what the Collectors were doing, rescued the kidnapped crew, but lost the entire ground crew. Fourteen people.

The fallout of that revelation when Jeff finally limped the Normady back to port in Vancouver, had been widespread and devastating. The famed hero Commander Shepard, killed in action. No one even mentioned all the others, at least as no more than a passing footnote. The news was all about how the first human Specter had been killed ending the threat of the Collectors once and for all. The fact that it was all at the command of the Reapers, that they were building a proto-human Reaper, that the real threat, the Reapers themselves, were still coming and would be here soon even after the delays Shepard had cost them, all that was covered up. No need to cause a panic, they said. As if it wasn't something worth panicking over.

Taking a deep breath, pushing the remnants of his recurring nightmare aside, Jeff pushed himself out of bed and made his slow way to the bathroom. Time to start another day, under guard, helping the Alliance "retrofit" his ship. At least he would get to speak to EDI even if it was under the continued pretense that she was just a VI. That was something at least. He needed that something.


	2. Arrival and Departure

Joker was leaning against the table in the Normandy's mess when the whole world turned to shit. It was one of those times where you could ask someone, hey where were you when the Reapers first showed up, and everyone would remember perfectly. And for Joker, that was on the Normandy in Vancouver, signing off on the latest retrofits the Alliance had installed and continuing the pretense that he was needed to communicate with EDI.

The TV above the kitchen was always set to ANN but was usually on silent. Joker always ignored it, hyped up sensationalist TV that could barely be considered news. But when someone turned the volume up, he paid attention.

There was grainy footage from London being played on repeat while some newscaster dinner on about some unprecedented terror attack. But what sent chills down Joker's spine wasn't what he was seeing, or the ambivalent reporter. It was the telltale _wraaaaaaarp_ of a Reaper, a sound that still haunted his dreams and likely always would.

"That's no terror attack," Joker muttered, tossing aside the datapad he was examining as he started towards the cockpit.

"Time to go, EDI, our friendly neighbourhood Reapers are here," he said as he slid into his seat, unable to help the small smile at how _right_ it felt to be back here despite the circumstances. His fingers danced across the screens with an easy familiarity as he got everything ready to launch, feeling more than hearing the hum of the ship's engines starting up.

"Hey! You can't be in there!" someone shouted, one of the Alliance guards who were supposed to be babysitting him and spent more time playing cards he guessed. Joker ignored him, too intent on his task.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!" he continued, the sound of his stomping boots announcing that he was about to come in and physically force Joker away.

And then the doors hissed shut, barring the way. Jeff snorted and said, "Good one," as the man outside banged in the door and tried to use his keycard to get in, all of which EDI ignored.

"Thank you, Jeff," EDI replied.

"Probably should shut the hatch too, these people will thank us when they manage to survive this mess."

"I believe they will be too angry to thank anyone."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Two minutes… come on, come on…"

"The Reapers have arrived," EDI said, displaying a visual of the outside of the ship.

"Oh shit! Let's go go go!" Joker shouted, finally feeling the ship start to lift off.

"Joker, open up," a new voice called from outside the locked door.

"Major Alenko is on the other side of the door," EDI said.

"Yeah I got that," Joker replied.

"He is attempting to use his pass to gain entry. Should I allow him?" EDI asked.

"What are you gonna do if we let you in here?" Joker called out.

"The Normandy has been pressed into service. Admiral Anderson needs us," Kaidan called through the door.

"What? No, we need to land! We need to-" the guard tried, but Kaidan spoke over him.

"This is a _war_ ," he snapped. "And this is an Alliance vessel. Your science experiments mean nothing now. Joker, open up!"

Joker grinned to EDI's terminal. "Always knew I liked that guy," he said as EDI opened the door to him.

"Shut it again," Kaidan said once he was in.

"My pleasure," Joker said, hitting a button and relying on EDI to make sure it remained locked. "Welcome aboard, Sir. You'll see there's been a few upgrades since you were last with us. Allow me to draw your attention to the fabulous real leather seats-" he broke off suddenly as the ship rocked, a Reaper blast grazing their shield. "Just ignore the commotion outside, really hinders the view."

Kaidan was unable to resist, a half smile breaking out over his otherwise stern features as he took his old place in the co pilot's seat.

"I've heard there's been quite a few upgrades since you limped it back here. Let's see what your baby can do," Kaidan said.

"Aye aye, Sir," Joker replied, and at his touch the Normandy shot forwards.

"EDI, patch in to channel 6432. Clearance alpha lima echo November kilo osca," Kaidan said, giving the channel Admiral Anderson used.

"Was he in the blast?" Joker asked, glancing across at the screen that showed the Alliance headquarters, or what was left of it.

"Yeah, but he and Lieutenant Commander Vega made it out okay. We just need to pick them up," Kaidan answered.

Just then a static but familiar voice came over the comms. "Major Alenko, we're in sight of the spaceport. ETA: 3 minutes."

"Incoming," EDI started.

"I see it," Joker cut in, fingers flying over the controls as the Normandy responded as instantaneously as ever. Maybe even better, though it's not like he would ever admit as much to the Alliance after them taking apart his baby. The Normandy ducked and weaved with a manouverability that defied logic but which felt as natural as breathing to both Joker and EDI.

Kaidan, meanwhile, took control of the comms. "We've made it to the Normandy," he reported. "Taking heavy fire - Oh god! They're gonna take down that dreadnought!" Joker looked across to what had caught Kaidan's attention and his eyes widened seeing the Reaper laser taking aim at the dreadnought that was in turn, firing at it. "Evasive maneuvers!" Kaiden shouted.

"I'm on it!" Joker snapped.

"Major? Kaidan! Damnit they're in trouble!" Anderson's voice came over the comm but Kaiden was too busy to respond right then, trying to prioritise where to power the shields. Later Joker must remember to tell Kaiden that EDI was more than capable of handling that job now. For the moment he was too busy trying to provide cover fire for the dreadnought.

And then avoiding the explosion when they inevitably failed at keeping it whole. "Bastards," Joker muttered.

The comm started up again, but all that could be heard was static. "That doesn't sound good," Joker commented.

"Admiral, come in, we didn't get that," Kaiden said. More static. "Comms are damaged, if you can hear this find some way to send us a signal with your location." He glanced across at Joker. "Time to do this the old fashioned way."

"And have some fun while we're at it," Joker replied, slamming his fist on the fire button with the guns aimed at a rather clustered group of husks. "Boom!"

The Normandy sped around the city, dangerously low sometimes, but always completely in control. They took out any groups of enemies they could even though, despite the upgrades, the Normandy was still no use against a Reaper itself. They could, at the very least try to give those attempting to escape a chance to get away without being swarmed by the enemy.

"She definitely handles well," Kaidan said after Joker performed yet another death-defying feat.

"Doesn't she, just?" Joker replied, his tone loving. "Cerberus may be the scum of the universe, barring those guys of course, but they know how to make a beautiful ship. Leather seats!"

Kaidan chuckled, but turned serious again when Anderson's voice came over the comms once more.

"Normandy, this is Anderson… do you read?" The voice was distorted, but understandable.

"Admiral. What's your location?" Kaidan asked.

"By a downed gunship at the harbour. I'm activating its distress beacon. Send support. We've got wounded down here-" Anderson's voice was cut out with static.

"EDI, do you have a lock on that beacon?" Joker asked.

"Of course, Jeff," EDI replied, the snark in her voice making him smirk even if it made Kaidan raise an eyebrow at him. She brought it on screen so they could see exactly where they were and Joker turned the ship in that direction while Kaidan hailed any nearby ships with medics available, sending them the same location.

As they got closer, the map flicked off to be replaced with a visual, showing Anderson and Vega crouching behind some fallen debri, quickly becoming overrun by Cannibals. Activating the external speakers, Joker announced, "Cavalry's here, gentlemen!" right as he fired down on the remaining Cannibals, blasting the last of them to firey chunks of goo.

"Better go get them," Joker said.

"You okay handling things on your own up here?" Kaidan asked, reminding Joker yet again that he didn't know EDI's full capabilities.

"Yeah we're great. Me and EDI have got this," he replied.

Kaidan gave a nod and left to go meet Anderson and Vega.

After the door slid shut behind him, EDI asked, "Are you going to tell him?"

"Where's the fun in that?" Joker asked. "Let's see how long it takes him to figure it out!"

"It will be risky. He is Alliance after all and they cannot be seen to support Artificial Intelligence," EDI pointed out.

Joker sighed. "Yeah, I know. We'll… figure something out. Let's just see where this goes. With the whole Reapers destroying the Earth thing, maybe no one will think about it."

"I do not believe that will be the case."

"Lemme dream, alright?"

"Alright, Jeff."

-l-l-l-

Half an hour later saw the Normandy leaving the Earth's orbit and, for now at least, out of immediate danger. Part of Jeff felt guilty about that - there was still so much destruction occurring on Earth, visible even from where they were now, and they were safely away from it all - but he also knew the importance of retreating to a safe distance, to co-ordinate their attack and be as effective as possible.

"I'm gonna go say hi," Joker said. "Call me if you need me."

"Of course," EDI replied.

"And, ah… that guard who currently hates me… he's not outside is he?"

"No. He and the other scientists are currently converging in the med bay, attempting to work out how to commandeer the ship from us."

Joker snorted. "Best lock the door on them."

"I did that before we left Earth's atmosphere."

"Nice one," Joker said as he used the back of the chair to lever himself upright, managing not to grimace at the sudden weight now pressing on his legs.

Hitting the call elevator button and stepping through the doors, EDI's voice came over the speakers as the elevator went down. "Lieutenant Commander Vega is down in the shuttle bay. Major Alenko is also heading that way and will meet you there shortly."

Joker frowned, but didn't bother responding; he didn't know why EDI didn't mention Anderson but figured he would find out soon enough. Maybe he was just going somewhere else on the ship or something. Nothing to worry about. When the doors slid open and Joker stepped through into the cool surrounds of Engineering, Vega looked up from where he was tinkering with a pistol, likely the one he was just using.

"Hey," Vega said. "Thanks for the pickup."

Joker grinned. "Any time," he replied.

"So… where's the Admiral?"

"Coming, I hope," Joker said, and he turned as the elevator doors opened once more. To reveal only Kaidan. Joker and Vega exchanged a confused look; obviously he wasn't the only one wondering why there was only one person coming out of that elevator. "Ah, what's going on? Where's Anderson?" he asked.

Kaiden didn't answer. Nor did he look at them, he simply kept walking over to the workbench. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Had something happened? "Hey!" Joker said, perhaps a little sharper than he should have to someone of Kaidan's rank but who cared, what had happened to Anderson?

"We're leaving," was all Kaidan said, and he still wouldn't look at either of them.

"The hell?" Vega demanded. At least he didn't know what was going on either; Joker wasn't the only one kept in the dark.

"Anderson wants us to go to the Citadel, get help for the fight," Kaidan said.

"Bullshit, he wouldn't order us to leave!" Vega snapped.

"The Normandy's got good weapons, we can help!" Joker protested, speaking at the same time as Vega.

"We don't have a choice. Without help, this war's already over," Kaiden said and, finally, he turned to look at them. It was only then that Joker saw the pain in his eyes, how much this was tearing him up as much as it was for them. But Joker knew Kaidan, had worked with him off and on for years now. Vega didn't.

"Forget it! Drop me off someplace, cause I'm not leaving-" he started, only to be cut off by Kaidan, stepping up and into his face.

"Enough!" he shouted. "Don't you think I'd rather stay and fight? We're going to the Citadel… you want out, you can catch a ride back from there."

Vega just stalked off, shaking his head, leaving Kaidan to run a frustrated hand through his hair. "This wasn't how I wanted it to go either," Kaidan said softly.

"I know," Joker said. "Don't worry about James. He'll come around."

"You know him?"

"Only in passing really. He sometimes guarded me and the other ex-Cerberus crew. He's a typical jarhead but he's alright," Joker said.

Kaidan nodded but was prevented from answering further when EDI's voice came over the intercom. "Jeff. Receiving emergency transmission from Admiral Hackett."

"Patch it through, EDI," Joker said.

"Moreau, Alenko…. sustained heavy losses… force was overwhelming… There's no way we can defeat them conventionally," Hacket's voice came through, heavily distorted with static.

"Anderson's already ordered us to the Citadel, to talk to the Council," Kaidan said.

Joker frowned. 'Us'? What did he mean by order us? He knew better than to interrupt just then though, the connection could be lost at any moment.

"First, I need you… outpost on Mars… or we lose control of the system."

Kaidan saluted. "Yes, sir," he said, though Hackett clearly wasn't finished yet.

"... been researching the Prothean Archives with Dr T'Soni... found a way to stop the Reapers... only way to stop them... in contact soon. Hackett out."

They both saluted then as the connection ended.

"Sooo, you gonna tell me what this is all about?" Joker asked.

Kaidan sighed then turned to Joker. "Set a course for the Mars archives. We'll… talk later."

Joker hesitated a moment, considering whether to push it, before deciding he could wait. For now at least. "Roger that," he said and made his way to the elevator.

"This is loco. Why Mars? What does he think we'll find there?" He heard Vega ask as he hit the call elevator button.

"I don't know yet, but if it helps us win this war... I wish Shepard were here. Grab your gear, let's see what this is all about," Kaidan said. The elevator door shutting prevented Joker from hearing any response Vega may have given.


End file.
